No, this post has nothing to do with movies, or videogames, or anything ‘fun’ at all.

Sorry I just needed to get that out there, right off the bat. What this post DOES have to do with, is me. It’s a way for me to let everyone (i.e. whoever actually reads this) to know what I’ve been going through lately.

About 3 weeks ago, I suffered what is commonly known as a panic attack, or what I would like to refer to as… a complete nervous breakdown. I was at work, and after eating a very mediocre microwaved lunch at my desk, I was suddenly overcome with a slight sense of dread and tension… however the more I thought about it, the worse it became.

I took a walk around the building outside for a few minutes, but it didn’t seem to subside and after speaking with my wife for what seemed like an hour on the phone (it was more like 5 minutes), I broke down and suffered what was probably the most terrifying experience of my life. The specifics are very difficult to describe, but the only way I can imagine explaining it, is this = Imagine you are in a plane, and the pilot alerts you that you are going to crash, and you KNOW you will die, however you have no idea how long it will take, how horrible it will be when you crash, what everything will look like around you as you inevitably die, etc.

Now, imagine you are talking with your wife on a cellphone, in an office parking lot… experiencing those exact feelings and sensations. Make any sense? Of course not… but that’s what I went through.

I’ve since experienced two very similar, but much more mild ‘episodes’ but they are no less scary. I am now on medication, which isn’t what I wanted, but if it will help me figure out a way to handle the day to day stress that I’ve been dealing with for years, then great.

Anyways, the Christmas holidays have been the perfect time to try to unwind and relax, however I’ve had a cold for the last 5 days. Lucky me! Also, my wife and I spent Christmas dinner in the Emergency Room with our 1 year old who was (and still is) suffering from Croup. I need to look on the bright side of things I know, but it’s really hard sometimes.

Yeah, I know…. it’s May already. How dare I get away with a top 10 list of upcoming movies in 2011 when it’s nearly half way done? Well, the start of the summer movie season, love it or hate it, is upon us and with it brings the ultimate popcorn CGI fests, along with the occasional Triple-A scorcher.

In my past lists, there were definitely some duds, but they each had an impact in one way or another.

So, I will not keep you waiting, my picks for the Top 10 must see flicks in 2011 are… *drumroll please*

Everything Must Go (May 13)

A return to drama for Will Ferrell? Sign me up. After Stranger Than Fiction, he immediately proved he CAN act if he wants to.

Hangover Part 2 (May 26)

After hearing a sequel was announced, I immediately cringed. However, that dread subsided after watching the original teaser trailer for the first time. After watching the full trailer, I was completely sold.

Hobo With A Shotgun (May 6)

Grindhouse films are extremely hit or miss, but when they do it right and all of the pieces come together, magic is born!

Submarine (June 3)

You may know him as Moss from the I.T. Crowd, but he’s also the director of this surprisingly fantastic film I had the pleasure of seeing at TIFF 2010. A VERY well put together love story, with a great part played by an always interesting Paddy Consindine.

X-Men : First Class (June 3)

My fingers (and toes) are crossed that this series has gone back to the drawing board after a disasterous 3rd act and laughably bad Wolverine spin off. Can the excellent Fassbender and McAvoy save it? Let’s hope.

The Trip (June 10)

Ok, so it’s already been out for a while in the UK. But this matchup with Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon will make anyone laugh. The almost entirely ad lib scenes between the two are comedy gold.

Super 8 (June 10)

Yeah, so what… the finale of Lost sucked. I still LOVE anything Abrams touches. Everything I’ve seen or heard for Super 8 so far has kept me drooling for more.

Another Earth (July 22)

A more realistic look at what an alternate dimension could truly provide for the human race… if that makes sense. Looks like it could be very interesting.

Cowboys And Aliens (July 29)

Ever since the original trailer, I was simply blown away. Sure, it’s a popcorn flick, but they are great once in a while and this is an original enough approach to sci-fi that I’ll take it. Why they took away Craig’s accent is beyond me though.

30 minutes or less (August 12)

Ansari, Eisenberg, McBride, Swarsdon??? Yes please. Oh… and look at that, the director of Zombieland is doing it. How will this NOT be the funniest movie of the year?

Honourable mention

The Tree of Life (May 27)

Terence Malick has made some incredible films, and this looks like another visual and spiritual journey. However, if the words spiritual journey make you wretch, it might not be for you However, maybe Brad Pitt or Sean Penn can change your mind?

Ahh Crysis, the game no one thought could run on consoles. The sequel to the game that brought even the most powerful PC to it’s knees.

Crysis 2 has been on the radar of every action game fan for a while now, and with good reason. Graphically, it’s without a doubt the nicest looking game you will ever see. It also features one of the most unique features found in any FPS game…. the “suit”. If you haven’t seen or heard about it, you can cloak, beef up armour and perform leaps and bounds with reckless abandon (well… until your energy runs out).

You take the role of an everyday soldier with the extra help, set to do….. something in manhattan. I’ll be honest, the story was not exactly the most captivating aspect of the game, instead, I found myself drooling over the visuals and some of the best cut scenes I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Well, that and the very original level design. Imagine a small sandbox area, which when cleared, leads to another small sandbox area. Each with a variety of choices. “Should i snipe them all while cloaked? Should I sneak up behind them one by one? Or should I go to that turret over there and blast them all to hell?”

Online is another story. While its pretty decent, it really doesnt offer much in the way of originality. The cloak offers something new, but there are many unbalanced issues happening right now that it’s tough to recommend for more than a couple of nights.

At just shy of 8 hours, it was the perfect length for me, but if you want to try different ways of clearing levels (I wasn’t too interested), you might get more out of it.

So the game with the bizarre marketing campaign has finally arrived.

I say bizarre because I never actually saw game footage, or in-game screenshots until I’d played the full release. The marketing campaign, which consisted of a visual assault of nothing more than.. let’s call him “Buddy-with-the-red-blindfold”, really did a number on me. And a number of other people apparently, the game has sold over 1 million copies as of this writing.

Anyways, on to the game.

I noticed almost immediately that Homefront takes some queues from many other games, including the obvious (Call Of Duty) to the not so obvious (Half Life 2). Basically, you WILL be immersed in the atmosphere whether you like or not. I really did buy into the whole “Korea takes over” plot and as difficult as it may be to believe, the execution was spot on.

The game controls VERY well, as expected, and as far as looks are concerned it threw me for a loop. At first, I cast them off as generic, however I frequently caught myself stopping… and looking around to gaze at the incredible lens flaring (yes, it IS really cool) and some of the very original lighting effects. You may not be as blown away as I was, but you will not be disappointed.

Listening to the various guns was rather enjoyable, and it seemed as if they leaned towards over the top, rather than realistic, which was perfectly fine for me.

Now comes the tricky part.

I sat down at 9pm to begin playing through the single player game. 1:30am rolls around… credits. Yes, it took 4 and a half hours to beat the entire game.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of short games, especially nowadays. However, due to this fact, it is VERY difficult to recommend anyone go out and plunk down $60 for a game they could beat twice while I’m at work.

Thankfully, the online helps with longevity, but without a healthy enlistment of friends, I couldn’t be bothered. I’m not one for pick up and play with strangers but if you are, you may get more out of it than me.

I will begin by saying I love my daughter… more than anything else on the planet (sorry Tiff!). Please remember that, as you may think otherwise after reading my rants below. No matter what I say though, it will not change how I feel about her, and how much I love her.

It’s been just over 7 months since the world was greeted with her arrival. Well, in truly living, breathing and…. screaming… form anyways. Since then, our lives have changed in ways that I never imagined, because no matter what you’re doing, no matter what time of day, she comes first.

Only had 4 hours of sleep? It’s 4:30am and she is ready to party? Deal with it.

Do you just want to sit down and have a quiet meal together with your wife? Good luck.

Ahh… it’s 9pm and she just went to sleep. Time to watch some….. oh wait, she’s up AGAIN…. for 2 more hours!

I could go on for hours, but the fact of the matter is, I wouldn’t give her up for anything, whatsoever. After all of the whining, complaining and grizzling… it just takes one quick smile to make none of it matter. In many of life’s experiences, the ‘bad’ aspects generally overtake the ‘good’. However, she is the first part of my life that I can definitely say is the opposite.

(NOTE : I really need to mention, Tiff has been incredible and has taken care of nearly all nightly feedings, looking after her during the day, and has been the one “dealing with” almost everything.)